southwestfolk

Hello People,

I can now happily announce the results of the ‘Jones’s Ale’ Stanza Competition. Entries were few (please don’t ask me how few) and, not surprisingly, most of them reflected the current economic situation and were deeply satirical. I must emphasize that the small number of entries in no way detracts from the fine achievements of the runners-up and, above all, the winner, who have shown here that the folk process is alive and well. The already longish folksong ‘When Jones’s Ale Was New’ will now seem interminable, and is guaranteed to clear a bar of all but the most hardened folkies.

And the lucky – nay, talented - winner is… (long, dramatic pause)… MR. GRAHAM BALL! Graham, together with his wife Sandy, run the excellent club ‘Folk at the Oak’ at Corsham. Here is his winning entry:

And the next to come in was a banker
And he was a total…...disaster
Yes he was a total disaster for to join the jovial crew
And he counted his pay cheque, his pension, his perks and his bonus
Quite obscene when compared to the crumbs that he’d thrown us
Not to mention the cash that the sod wouldn’t loan us
When Jones’s ale was new me boys
When Jones’s ale was new

Graham’s verse was accompanied by the following note:
“There is a more alliterative epithet that could be used in the 6th line, but I don't think the folk world is quite ready for that!”

Quite right, Graham. It’s also a more appropriate epithet, given the subject of the verse, but as you have surmised, this is a family show and some people may be reading this before nine-o-clock.

Graham will receive, as promised, a copy of the CD ‘Ampersand’ by the due ‘6’s & 7’s’, which was kindly presented by Peter Clive-Francis (‘6’s’).

*
Here are the four runners-up (in no particular order):

Two from BRYONY MCGINTY, of the popular trio ‘Sally in the Wood’:

And the next to come in was a Storyteller
And everyone ran for the cellar
And everyone ran for the cellar
For they wanted to remain a jovial crew
They couldn’t bear the starts and stops
The missing bits, the ‘Oh I forgots’
But worst of all - the boring plots!
When Jones’s Ale was new me boys
When Jones’s Ale was new

And the next to come in was the Prime Minister
His wonky eye made him look sinister
And everyone said "Go to F-f-f-finisterre - you can't join our jovial crew!"
For you mess up everything you touch
All business leaders, bankers, financial traders and politicians pay themselves far too much
And we'd like to give you a kick in the crutch
When Jones' Ale etc.........

…and two from SI BARRON, who is the male half of the well-known duo Barronbrady:

And the next to come in was a banker [yes, another of ‘em!]
Which caused them no small rancour
And they called him... up a tankard
And he toasted the jovial crew
He had just been fired from his profession
His gross incompetence had caused the recession
He'd be out on the streets if it wasn't for his pension
When Jones's ale was new..

The next to come in was a percussionist
With a bodhran he¹d only just purchased
And he said ³may I join in for practice²?
Which worried the jovial crew
Thank goodness a short sighted bar maid
Mistook his new toy for a tin tray
And discovered at last a good use for a bodhran- hooray!
When Jones' Ale was new, me boys
When Jones' Ale was new

I’m hoping to sing the newly-expanded version of ‘Jones’s Ale’ at the Hatch Inn, Hatch Beauchamp on Tuesday 12th May, with energetic support in the chorus. This rendition will begin with the traditional verses, followed by my own effort, followed by the four runners-up and culminating, of course, with the winning verse. You are all invited.

Tony

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